I love you right here, right now, right where you are at. I'm going to try (again) to get back on the wagon: after 3 months and 16 pounds up, which is 2 or 3 sizes for me. I am scared of the extent the effects of sugar and carbs has become on me. I got confused Thursday and ran a red light, and my Interstitial Cystitis is acting up and my bladder hurts more of the time. It had healed "so much" with Intermittent Fasting this last year. I hope to journal again. I write all this since you asked where I was: I was binging like you, and gaining. You know I believe the sugar, carbs, and artificial ingredients are affecting you also. My husband has been in the hospital 3 times in that time period. Three weeks ago, he had 5 TIA's in one day. He will not stop the sugar and carbs. They are killing us.